Someone changed the one below so I still had the same account and made the thing above to remind them.
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Our Very First Meal is the premiere episode of Full House, which aired for the first time on September 22, 1987.
Danny Tanner’s wife, Pam, left with her new lover Willard three months earlier, leaving him with the task of raising three daughters (which aren’t probably his) on his own. His mother, Claire, had been staying with the family to help out, but when she realized her fucking son was a loser, he asks his faggot brother-in-law Jesse and his on and off again gay lover Joey to move in to help him take care of the girls: twenty-year-old D.J., lord know what-year-old Stephanie, and one-year-old Michelle. Joey and Jesse’s first day includes changing a diaper. Since neither knows about taking care of a baby, they struggle in their efforts to care for Michelle. This eventually is the start of a flaming ass love between Jesse and Joey behind Danny’s back. The other girls have a difficult time adjusting to the living arrangements. D.J. is frustrated that Joey is always walking around masterbating. Stephanie, on the other hand, is elated that Joey can hook her up with grade A meth. Jesse then enters and the girls are happy to see him . After he asks D.J. about how big her new boyfriend Leo’s dick is, Stephanie gets him to play the pornographic movie “Homeless Bitch Pussy Fest”, and he initially refuses, but gives in after her “crying routine” of your the best actor Uncle Jesse.
A few seconds later, Joey makes his entrance, with a male hooker Colt Johnson, the latter showing him a “purple dildo and a bag of meth”: the alcove. Joey is excited about the as sex, as he’s anxious to do get his anal cavity stuffed. Jesse is shown his room and is shocked by the presence of needles and shit covered bloody used condoms on the floor (because it was Danny’s at the time gay lover Pete Weber’s room before.) In the bedroom across the hall, D.J. is sneaking in people to have sex with for money. As the older sister, she makes the money for the house, as her faggot father Danny spends all his money on drugs and male hookers. When Joey and Danny come in, they scold D.J. and take all her profits, then go spend it on heroin and male hookers in downtown San Francisco. In Michelle’s room, she continually cries. They figure that if she doesn’t wear a diaper she can just shit and piss all over the floor like Joey does anyway. They figured it was either that or drop her off at an orphanage. But they need the welfare check for crack. Whites can get welfare in the US, ONLY if they have a Jew hook up like Danny Tanner.
After arguing over who to buy drugs from, they buy from the Chinese, but can’t stop laughing at their slanted eyes! So, they start calling them chinks and making fun of their accents. The chinks not impressed vow to get a hit set out on Joey. Later that night, Jesse and Joey get caught having anal sex high as fuck in their car in a McDonald’s parking lot by the cops. Officer Tony Vlachos a rookie at the time with SFPD escorts them home in his cruiser and goes into their home. As the living room is a mess from the shit and piss and used needles Tony looks at the 2 pathetic sacks of shit hanging their heads. Tony says ” I can haul you into jail or you can pull your pants down and bend over!”. Joey and Jessie comply to take the ass sex over the jail time and set up a camcorder to record it for Danny when he gets home.
When Danny does get home drunk as fuck half naked at 4am. Danny squats and spreads his ass cheeks and farts shit and cum all over the glass coffee table. He then leads everyone upstairs to find Michael Moore tied up in his closet with a gab ball. “Fucking cool” Yells Dj in glee watching that fat fuck Michael Moore squeal like the pig he is. When Jessse whips out his dick to start stuffing Moores fat ass lards, DJ runs up with a chainsaw. The family takes turns raping and beating Moore. DJ even put on a rusty copper strap on dildo and fucked him till he bled. After they force Moore to lick the shit, piss, and jizz on the floor Joey picks up a lamp and breaks it over his fat fucking head. The family all started kicking and jumping on Moore like a trampoline (almost worrying about the weight limit on the floor) while Danny fired up the chain saw. They hacked Moore up for a few hours canning his body parts and cooking his fat ass cheeks as a roast. The family didn’t by groceries for a year. The end.
- The closing scene of this episode features Joey, Jesse, and Danny having a fudge pack train at a public pool. It was deleted as it was fucking gross as fuck.
- Jesse saying, “I live in Webster’s room” is a reference to the title character Pete Weber the impotent contestant on the show the Bachelor
- Jesse asking Danny if he has been “reading Cosby’s book” refers to the 1986 bestseller written by Bill Cosby called How to stick your dick in womens mouths when they are sleeping.
- The DVD contains a commentary by series creator and executive producer Pete Buttplug
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Although Joey is not related to the Tanner family, he mostly acts as a creepy pedophile to the kids. There was some tension between Joey and Jesse Mullet Pussy when they first move in, but they quickly become good faggot friends who share each others dildos. He usually handles the day-to-day raising of the kids by doing chores like making shitty meals, driving the kids to score drugs (Like Meth for Steph), and after school activities ), and helping the kids with their tampons. He also gives D.J. her first grown up cock for her 18th birthday.
Throughout the series, Joey has held various stupid shit jobs in addition to his work as a male prostitute in bath houses. In seasons two and three, he and Jesse work in strip clubs together. They end up forming 2 Faggots on A POGO Stick Services, which they use to entertain old gay faggots like Anderson Cooper and Doogie Howser for television and radio ads. In “Joey Goes Anal”, Joey wins a role in Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello’s new sitcom Cum Dumpsters and Old Hags.
Joey’s most successful job is as Ranger Blow on an afternoon Adult Hard Core Gay Pornographic show. Ranger Blow’s sidekick is his wise-cracking ventriloquist dildo Mr. Woodcock. In “Radio Days”, he is fired when he does not have sex with women well with his new on-screen partner, Jungle Jenny, who happens to be the boss’s slutty big titted wife. Later in that episode Joey tests positive for the HIV virus that causes AIDS after an all night bum fuck date with Magic Johnson, Joey and Jesse become partners again in an afternoon radio show called, “Hush Hour Anal Bead Renegades” on FM KBBL BUCKDOWNLOW 95.
Joey and Danny have been ass pirate friends since February 23, 1968, in elementary school. When Danny gave Joey his first nut rub and wiener tug underneath the slide at lunchtime.
Joey has off-and-on-again relationships with both men and women. They do not last long as he is a pathetic piece of shit and is better off just blowing his money on cheap nigger hookers named Lexi. His dates include Danny’s brother BuffChuck, Cheryl (Herpes Model), Miley Cyrus, Oprah Winfrey, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Will Smith, Demi Levato, and Garth Brooks.
Joey meets Cheryl when he tries to rape her at knife point in the park in Oakland. Whilst the night does not work out well for the crusty old bitch, he begins to date her and rapes her on the second date.
Look at this fucking clown all high on crack. Only people on drugs laugh and act like this piece of fucking work. Fucking disgrace. A bigger disgrace than the yellow phlemn fungus found in month old dried out elephant shit
The Rest Of The Full House Faggot Gang
Danny Tanner – Pedophile A father of three little girls and depressed widower who masturbates to peewee football. (character based on IRL Bob Saget).
Jesse – A self proclaimed ladies man and a pretentious Elvis wannabe son of a bitch with a faggot fucking mullet who wants to be a “rock and roll” star although he has no actual talent and is a failure as a parent. He desperately needs a hair cut on several cases of it being mistaken for Michelle Obama’s Muff Hair.
Rebecca – Jesse’s wife, coming from a white town in Nebraska. Teaches her housemates square dancing, therefore making her the object of white trash in the house. She is a hardcore supporter of the KKK and believes that white revolution is the only solution.
D.J. Tanner – Teenage Mary Sue, a over- emotional fat cow who is constantly getting in trouble for offering blowjobs to desperate nerds.
Stephanie Tanner – Middle daughter played by Jodie Sweetin, before she discovered the wonders of meth, she now stars on the popular Nickelodeon show TruJew as the goofy sidekick who helps an Adolf Hitler look a like educate youth about the dangers of drugs and jews.
Michelle Tanner – Youngest of the daughters; known for getting raped nearly every other episode. Portrayed by the Olsen twins.
Nicky and Alex – Jesse’s Aspie children who are constantly abused and molested by their parents to the amusement of the audience. The best episode is when they let them go to Michael Jackson’s house.
Steve Hale – D.J.’s forced boyfriend and frequent cannabis user. He always want to get some but DJ is too busy eating to even notice.
Kimmy Gibbler – Giant enemy crab and all out closet case. Unbeknownst to the Tanner family, she ends up becoming famed porn star and staring in the video “2girls1cup” Joey still denies having sex with her.for her father to watch.