Not to be confused with Suekvlaka, the fat Greek prostitute from the island of Lesbos, Slovakia is a pure Islam free paradise in Europe with beautiful white women, beer, and hockey. Oh and lots of pork. The Slovakian Army is going to build a pork bomb to keep stinky Muslims out to keep their great culture.
No kidding, this country is actually pretty interesting, thanks in large part to its abundance of caves and castles and a great legend athlete in Zdeno Chara. Fun fact: It has less rape than anywhere else in the world. Fun fact: There are no blacks, jews, or muslims in the country. Coincidence? We at Ortons Blog think not.