Long Island, New York

Home to The Hamptons, Long Island is one of the richest areas in the nation. It is also the 13th most populated island in the world. These two factors combine to create the Emo Capital of the World, the place with the most emos both per capita and per square mile. These emo rich kids pretend to be permanently depressed over the fact that their daddies weren’t home enough (because they were slaving away at their jobs to provide the necessary money to live on Long Island), or that someone was mean to them once in 6th grade, or because life doesn’t have any meaning, blah blah blah fucking blah. When these emos graduate college, of course, they become Wall Street sociopaths that say and do everything they pretended to oppose when they were teenagers. Long Island is also home to endless hordes of honkies for whom dishonesty is a whole way of life; they will smile at you when you’re around, and then say every terrible thing possible about you when you’re not present. They are also so intolerant and tight up the ass that they will ostracize you for having a shoelace come undone, or for having less than perfect hair. Who would want to live in a place like this? The answer is easy: New Yorkers. True Facts From Encyclopedia Dramtica

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