Brandon & Julia

With a new season of 90 Day Fiancé comes a new crop of fucking losers getting scammed and laughed at from afar and trying to make it in the TV game because Maury and Jerry are booked solid. Season 8 of the trailer trash show — which has spawned numerous spinoffs and given viewers so many moments of disgust and hatred for faggots — starts airing Dec. 6, 2020, and one of the newest couples is Brandon and Julia.  Brandon, 27, hopes to marry Julia, 26. As with all the 90 Day Fiancé couples, though, distance and drug money are the biggest concerns and time is tight (unlike Armando and Kenny’s assholes) when it comes to making a marriage happen once the couple finally links up. According to the KKK press release, Julia is based in Mother Land Russia and Brandon lives in Dinwiddie, Va. It was actually one of Brandon’s friends who was responsible for introducing the two originally. Julia was a hooker in Russia when she caught Brandon’s friend’s eye. All it took was one quick video beat off, a pack of socks, and some hand cream with Julia and a goeey love connection was made! (like the jizz crusted his sock to his little wiener).

Their love story was a whirlwind of daily trips for Brandon’s mom to buy new packs of socks at Walmart to say the least — after their first video chat, the two met up once and then, mere months later when Brandon had enough crack and cash, the two met up again in Iceland, where Brandon proposed. The long distance has been hard on Brandon’s wallet and socks, though, so both of them will have to live with his parents for the foreseeable future while they save up. According to a KKK press release, Brandon’s been working and living on the family farm in Virginia. The payment is Brandon’s old dad grabs a camcorder and films Brandon having raw bareback anal sex with his elderly mother. Julia will have to service the old mans balls with ben gay cream also. The food and roof is earned. Plus, Brandon’s mom is good in the sack apparently. Brandon’s parents are hoping Julia will want to pitch in on the farm, which might be a whole new learning experience for this city girl!

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