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Ukraine

This place is about as depressing as you’d imagine for a former Soviet republic — and one where the greatest nuclear disaster in history took place. The disaster gave all the Ukraine residents super human strength and large penises. The problem is it is too cold and no one can afford heat so most starve and then lose weight and get their wieners cut off. They then join the woman’s Olympic gymnastic team so the Russian Mafia can take their earnings.


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