What a Monday it’s been in Bachelor Nation! It’s just the second episode and sluts are already acting like well fucking whores. This week on the ‘The Bachelor’, something that has been dubbed as ChampagneGate has come into existence.
After their date went shitty in the last episode thanks to Peter Weber’s ex bitch Hannah Brown showing up, Kelsey from Des Moines decided to give Peter a blow job with a bottle of champagne from her pussy juices and moldy yeast crust. She sets up a cute spot near the used shit covered condoms box is in the Bachelor mansion to surprise Pete when the two spend time together. However, what she doesn’t anticipate is a mix-up when she went to change her diaper after she pooped her self again.
Hannah Ann goes to spend time with Peter to try to sniff his juicy fart. Then at the same spot that Kelsey had set up the bottle and with just one pop, sends Kelsey into a period like rage. She actually perioded all over the back room and dressing room in anger. As it turns out, there was another bottle of champagne somewhere in the mansion for Peter and Hannah Ann but she went and conveniently popped the one that belonged to that Iowan Slut bag Kelsey.
All the emotional upheaval has also taken Kelsey from being a someone Peter just wants to Fuck and Chuck to “unbearable”. “Not sure I can take another week of Kelsey’s anal leakage all over the floor here. But I’m sure they will set up #ChampagneGate for an elimination 2-on-1 date with Hannah Ann,” said Vladimir Putin the shows biggest loyal fan not only from Russia but anywhere. Another Famous fan OJ Simpson said”Kelsey deserved the champagne in her face like rape from me after her reaction to Hannah Ann opening it”
Kelsey is going to be drinking Hanna Ann’s liquid shit with corn in it out of that cup like soup eventually. Hanna Ann is pissed. Hanna Ann Slutts is 23 and from Tennessee. She says she is a model so I assume she lives with her parents and dropped out of college.
Kelsey Queer is 28 and from Iowa. It says she works in clothes so I am assuming she is a walmart employee.